Wings to Fly
by ellikanellika
Summary: The cut on her upper lip almost healed, but it was still there. She touched it carefully – it did not sting anymore. At least not physically. It still hurt in her chest; the humiliation, fear, and anger.
1. Wings to Fly

**_Wings to Fly_**

* * *

_For all of you who made it through._**_  
_**

* * *

Mikan took a deep breath. She looked at herself in the mirror. The cut on her upper lip almost healed, but it was still there. She touched it carefully – it did not sting anymore. At least not physically. It still hurt in her chest; the humiliation, fear, and anger. She felt angry, but at the same time she was so very afraid that every time it happened she froze and could not move on her own. Her brain shut down and her body started shaking, while the evil laughter surrounded her, pushed her either, down on the floor, or her head into a flushing toilet.

She opened her eyes and made a grimace at the memory – she did not even realize she closed them. Her hands were shaking. She did not want to go to school. She knew what – or better said who was waiting there for her. Maybe not today, but tomorrow, and the next day – and maybe not even for her, but Anna, her friend. She just wished they would leave her and the others alone. She wished she could go to school and feel happy about it. She wished she did not need to flinch and hide whenever she heard multiple footsteps walking towards her.

It was no use. She had to go. Her mother just came back from her night shift and was about to go to bed; tired and alone, as always. Being a nurse was a tough job, and Mikan did not want to cause problems for her hard-working mother. Not with an embarrassing matter as this. Her mother would be ashamed if she knew how weak her daughter was. What a coward she was. For not getting away from bullying.

Mikan blinked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. Time to go. She walked out of her room in her freshly washed school uniform; she had to wash it yesterday, after one of them pushed her to the ground and pulled at her hair. Her beautiful hair – she was lucky no one cut it. She had it in a tight bun today, hopefully for the rest of the day. She noticed her mother standing up from the dining table where she had been eating breakfast.

''Morning.'' Mikan smiled. ''I'll put the stuff away. Go to bed, mum.'' She told her and started gathering the empty bowls that she prepared for her mother the evening before. She cooked her rice and made tempura, because it was almost her mother's birthday and she wanted to prepare something good for her whenever possible.

Yuka, her mother smiled at her tiredly hugged her, kissing her on the cheek. ''Thank you, Mikan. Did your lip heal? You're quite clumsy for hitting your face like that on the door.'' Mikan was glad her mother did not know the truth. She did not want to see worry on her mother's face.

''I'm your daughter, what do you expect?'' she joked and Yuka let her go with a weak laugh.

''Have fun in school.'' Yuka wished her, before walking into her bedroom to sleep. Mikan waited for the door to close and only then did her expression turn into its original form of sadness. ''I hope I will.'' She whispered, gathering her stuff and making her way towards the hellhole that was high school.

* * *

''Say, I'm sorry Miss Shouda. I will never bump into you again.'' Sumire Shouda threatened a petit dark-haired girl, while pushing her face roughly into the wall. She was smirking at her trembling victim, while her three other friends stood by and watched. At least two of them watched; Wakako Usami was giggling hysterically, enjoying the show, while Ruka Nogi starred at the poor girl with concern and pity. He was afraid of saying anything. The third person, Natsume Hyuuga on the other hand, did not watch. It was boring to watch, so he looked around a bit and here and there glanced at his phone.

''I-I'm so-sorry, Miss Sh-shouda. I will n-never b-bump into you again.'' Whispered Nonoko Osagawa, her face still smashed into the wall. She was so scared, but no one came to help her. Every student that passed by, glanced into their direction, but quickly averted his eyes and rushed forward, not wanting to get involved.

''Lauder! I can't hear you!'' Sumire pulled Nonoko's face back and then pushed it into the wall again. A few tears escaped Nonoko's eyes and she whimpered. ''I'm sorry, Miss Shouda. I will never bump into you again.'' She finally brought out without stuttering and was then pushed to the ground. Sumire stared down at the crying girl with cold eyes, hatred radiating from her posture. ''If it happens one more time…'' she left the words unfinished, stared at her victim for a moment longer and then walked away with her friends.

Nonoko cried like an infant and slowly stood up. That was the moment Mikan and her pink-haired friend Anna walked into school. When they noticed the girl near the wall, they quickly rushed towards their friend and helped her up.

''Let's get you cleaned.'' Anna whispered and took Nonoko's hand. She led her towards the loo, while Mikan stayed behind for a moment. She glanced at the laughing group of teens walking down the corridor and felt a sudden rush of anger. She detested those people. She abhorred them. She wished them all bad of the world and she would never regret it if one of them died.

She quickly turned away, once she noticed Natsume glancing and smirking her way. The bastard was the one who pushed her to the ground yesterday and pulled at her hair. Mikan quickly followed Anna and Nonoko and helped her friend clean up. Nonoko was shaking like a leaf on water and tears were running down her cheeks, while her two friends wet a small towel and wiped her face.

''I can't take it anymore.'' The dark-haired girl whispered. ''I can't take it anymore. I can't, I can't, I can't…'' she whimpered and sobbed into Mikan's arms. Mikan let her cry, knowing exactly how it felt. Sumire was the one who caused the nasty cut on her lip, when Mikan walked pass her and Sumire had been in a bad mood. The dark-green-haired girl had grabbed her arm and pushed her into the wall, screamed at her, and then slapped the frightened girl, while everyone around her either laughed or was too afraid to interfere.

Her lip was cut and Mikan had to make up an excuse for her mother; the teachers never asked what happened. They knew, but did nothing against it – because the majority of the bullies were children of wealthy people who invested much into the school. Of course, these parents had no idea what their spoiled children were doing at school, but then again, no one was brave enough to speak up. No one.

''Do you want to go home?'' Anna asked, but Nonoko shook her head. ''I can't. My dad has a day off. I can't let him see…'' Mikan and Anna looked at each other. They knew exactly what she meant. It was very stupid from their part, but they were too humiliated to tell their parents.

Mikan wiped Nonoko's face and Anna cleaned her uniform. She looked all right after a few minutes, but she became silent, with a blank expression. Mikan watched her in concern; they all became like that. No laughing, no smiling, no free spirit. They locked themselves in and did not have the courage to get out. Nonoko was the worst of them. She had always been a shy girl, a nice girl who helped if asked to. But she never spoke up and never argued, and that is what made her into a victim.

The three girls walked into the classroom and sat down. Mikan had felt very sorry for her friend, for she knew how it felt. She was desperate to do something, but whenever she should, her whole body froze.

The rest of the day passed without any big incidents. Of course, the girls heard that Mochiage, one of the boys locked Yuu Tobita into the janitor's closet, and that Kokoro Yome and Kitsumene beat up a boy, the name of which Mikan did not know, but that was normal. She did not know why they did it. She did not understand what was so fun in making others cry.

And the next day, when she walked into school without Anna or Nonoko; Anna had to come earlier because she had some business in the library, and Nonoko was late; it seemed that it was Mikan's turn again.

''You're lucky you don't wear any make-up, Sakura.'' Natsume growled above her with a smirk on his face, while he was pushing her face into a flushing toilet. He caught her in the corridor as she walked towards her classroom with a pile of books in her arms, and pushed her into the loo. He was alone this morning, and that meant suffering. If he had his friends around, they mostly made fun of her and pushed her, maybe Sumire slapped her; but if Natsume was alone, he liked to take his time. And not one of the bullies ever started on her or any girl for that matter by him- or herself – never. They had this strangely moral and unwritten rule that they attacked girls in a group, which meant less pain that one on one. But Natsume Hyuuga was an exception. At least when it came to her.

When he had the chance, he tortured her by himself. Either he flushed her face in the toilet, pulled at her hair so much it hurt, or pushed her into a wall, whispering threats into her ear and gripping her shoulders. She did not know why he did that. He seemed obsessed with making her life a living hell. That smirk she received yesterday was apparently a sign for him wanting to do something to her. He was the one who started to bully her.

At first, long ago, when he pushed her shoulder in the corridor, not as strongly as now, she and many other girls thought he simply liked her and teased her.

But they were all wrong.

Natsume Hyuuga seemed to detest her. She was his favourite target. There was even one time when he convinced Sumire to steal her uniform while she had sports, and had to walk through school in her sportswear. Sometimes he took her notebooks and ripped them apart; sometimes he tripped her in the corridor so that she fell on her knees; and sometimes he watched Sumire push her around. He was a very sick person.

Which is why, right now he enjoyed watching her struggle to get free. ''You're too weak, little girl. Try working out, maybe then you'll be able to take care of yourself.'' He let go of her, watched her scramble away from the toilet and take deep breaths, her front hair dripping wet and her shirt slightly wet. She coughed a few times and then opened her eyes, looking at him with a fearful expression. She was scared of him; she usually did not show him, but today she had a strange feeling in her gut and she felt more afraid than ever.

Natsume's eyes caught hers and his smirk dropped. Usually, she glared at him, or wore a blank stare – it was the first time he saw her so afraid. She was shaking all over and the cut on her lip was open again, some blood dripping down her face. He took some toilet paper and crunched down in front of her. She flinched and closed her eyes when he reached with his hand towards her and pressed the paper on her lip.

''You should take care of that.'' He whispered, his expression blank, his touch unusually gentle. He took her hand and put it over the paper on her lip, so he could move away. He did not move away actually, he simply let his arm down and watched her stare at him. Mikan did not know what was going on. Natsume seemed to play games with her again.

The odd moment was interrupted by the first school bell and they both looked up. Natsume glanced down at her again, his hand touching a curl of her hair for a second. Then he stood up and left her behind. Mikan watched him go in shock, finally relaxing on the floor. The water dripped down her hair as she breathed in and out. She did not understand what just happened. She did not understand him. One moment he bullied her, laughed at her; and in the next moment, he looked at her like he wanted to kiss her.

That scared her more than anything else. Would Natsume Hyuuga actually abuse her? Would he do something like that to her? She would not survive it. She did not want to think about it. With wobbly legs she stood up and walked towards the sink. She leaned on it and looked at her reflection. Her face and hair were wet, lucky for her, it was just water. She never wore make-up just for that reason. She pulled a small towel from her bag that had been kicked to the side by Natsume and wiped her face and hair. She had nothing to dry her hair with, so she used the towel as much as possible and then pulled her hair into a bun. Her shirt had only a few wet spots at the upper edge, so it was no problem. She felt so strange, empty, exhausted. Her hands were still shaking, but she could not cry. Her eyes did sting, but tears did not want to come out.

She gathered her things and sighed before walking out of the loo. The corridor was full with students and Mikan was rotten to the spot, once she realized everyone was silent. They were all staring at a teacher talking with Mikan's friend Anna. She was crying, clutching her phone. Mikan walked forward in a daze, not noticing Natsume and his gang nearby – they were also silent and wore shocked expressions.

Natsume glanced at Mikan from the side, his lips pressed together. Mikan did not come far. Anna looked noticed her and looked at her in desperation. She mouthed one word. One word that made Mikan's world crumble and she lost the ground under her feet. One word that made her lose all senses.

So that is why she had this strange feeling. That was what made her so insecure. She should have known something like this would happen.

Anna stuttered a bit louder. ''Nonoko…''

Mikan's already wobbly legs gave in and she buckled to the side, losing consciousness.


	2. Wings

**_Wings to Fly_**

* * *

''She told her family, she would only take a short walk. The streets are all full of people in the evening, so no one worried. They're not sure but the driver said that she came out of nowhere. He tried to avoid her, and stop his car, but it was too late. He got her from the side. She's still in coma.'' Explained Anna, her voice, and eyes empty, while she was sitting next to Mikan's bed in the school infirmity.

Mikan was brought to the infirmity when she collapsed in the middle of the corridor. Ironically, it had been Natsume Hyuuga, who gathered her in his arms, and took her to the nurse, two teachers and a few students right behind him. Mikan woke up a few hours later, Anna sitting on a chair next to the window. The pink-haired girl who finally calmed down explained what happened and Mikan could not help but cry.

The teachers could not call her mother because she was in the middle of a very serious operation in the hospital and the doctor needed her by his side. Mikan was all right with it; she collapsed because of shock not because of any health problems.

''Nonoko's parents called the teachers this morning and then they called me, because they wanted to tell me themselves. I received the news the moment when the teacher wanted to tell me. I'm glad everyone was around to hear it. I want them to know what they caused.'' Anna continued, still staring at Mikan's hands, which she held.

''How did everyone react?'' Mikan wanted to know.

Anna shrugged. ''The teachers had to continue with the lessons and the principal drove to the hospital to meet the parents.'' She looked at Mikan then. ''But I did notice Sumire gasp in horror. The rest of the gang stared at the teacher in shock and they haven't done anything to anyone today.''

Mikan did not mention the incident in the loo.

''And Hyuuga rushed to you when you collapsed. He checked if you still breathed and then he picked you up and brought you here. I can't believe he…'' Anna glanced at Mikan's frowning face, still wet from the tears.

''He can rot in hell, for all I care.'' Mikan whispered with venom. Anna nodded; not mentioning that he had stayed here until the nurse was sure Mikan was all right. The two girls went silent and looked out of the window.

They watched some students play baseball and run circles. It was not a beautiful, sunny day – it was grey and it looked like it would rain. Mikan's mood was the same as the weather; heavy and dark.

''Do you think she will be all right?''

Anna was silent for a moment. ''I don't know. We can't visit her yet. She's still in critical condition.''

''I hope she'll be ok. If she dies…'' she did not end the sentence, making a hateful grimace. Anna caressed Mikan's hand. ''Shall we go home?'' she asked her, standing up. You're free of class and I'll accompany you.

Mikan nodded and sat up. Slowly, she stood up and made a few steps forward to see if she was all right. She was. Anna gathered Mikan's bag and a few books, and they both walked to the nurse to tell her, they would go home. The woman took a good look at Mikan one more time, noticing the fresh cut on her lips, and let them go. Both girls walked through the silent corridors towards the exit. They put their shoes and jackets on and went home.

Once Mikan arrived home, she texted her mother that she was home and prepared dinner. She thought about Nonoko. She thought about her friend for the rest of the day, trying to imagine what she must have felt that she tried to harm herself. She threw herself in front of a car and almost died. What if Anna did the same one day? What if she, herself did the same one day?

Is it easier to die than tell people what was going on?

No.

It was not.

She would not do something like that. She had her mother to think about. And her future. This was only high school. It would be over some day.

Her mother ran home as quickly as possible to check on Mikan and she was glad her girl was all right. They ate dinner together, but then Yuka was called again, because there was another emergency at the hospital.

Mikan was now home alone. She was sitting in the living room, hugging her knees, staring through the window into the dark evening sky. What should she do now? Would the gang still bully people after what happened? No one has ever tried to commit suicide. It was the first time. And if that was not a shock enough to stop them, then they deserved to be locked up in an institution.

And Hyuuga…

She remembered how he looked at her. He usually smirked or laughed in her face; sometimes he came very close to her, just to scare her off – she usually did not let him get to her; but today… Today he scared her to the bones. For a second she thought he might snog her or even try something more. She thought he would rip her clothes off and…

She hoped he was not like that. He did never do that to a girl, as far as she knew. He played around with a lot of them, that was a fact, and he and his friends took many pictures of their bullying victims, even filmed their actions just to put it on the internet – but they, not one of them, had ever sexually abused a girl or a boy.

She hoped it would stay that way. Because the look Hyuuga gave her was one of a man that was attracted to a woman. She never had anyone like that, but she knew how it looked like. She recognized it right away. And it frightened her more than the bullying.

She slept like a baby that night and the next day school was very different. No one bullied anyone. There was tension in the air, fear and concern, but no bullying. Mikan and Anna had to pass the gang a few times and Mikan felt Natsume's eyes on her. She wished he only wanted to bully her and not… something else.

As days flew by, the atmosphere became a little more relaxed and the peace remained. Mikan felt a lot better, and she and Anna went to visit Nonoko, who was still in coma but stable. Only after seeing her in that hospital bed, drain tubes all over her body, her face pale, and her body weak, they realized how serious the situation actually was. They brought her flowers and a memory card with a short poem the two wrote during class.

Mikan's mother was put on charge for Nonoko and so it was even easier.

One day, Mikan felt confident enough to try out the make-up her mother bought for her the day before. She was not sure if it was a good idea – who knew when one of those evils would lose his mind again and push her face into the toilet. But… Maybe…

So she walked to school with make-up on her face. No one really noticed, except for Anna. She approved with a smile, confident that this could be a new start. Mikan felt a lot better these days. She was still careful to avoid the gang, but it seemed they calmed down. There were no incidents anymore.

She was just about to go around the corner, when she collided with someone. She did not fall down, but stumbled back. She quickly apologized and looked up, only to flinch back in shock. She collided with Natsume Hyuuga. He was alone, and looking at her in that strange way again. He did not stumble; he was too strong for that. Mikan stared at him, fear evident in her eyes and stepped back, taking a huge breath.

''Careful Sakura.'' He told her with his deep voice and Mikan realized he was giving her a half-smile. She blinked at him in confusion and put her hand on the wall next to her to regain her balance. He did not move away or do anything to her.

''Uh… Yeah… All right…'' she stuttered and moved away. He followed her with his eyes. She became so confused that her legs wobbled and she almost lost her balance again. Natsume grabbed her arm and pulled her up before she would fall. Their faces were very close and Mikan's heart beat so fast she thought she might die. She did not know if she was so scared or simply nervous about the sudden change.

''Thank y-you.'' She stuttered again and waited for him to let her go. He did not right away. He watched her for a few seconds, and still held her arm. Mikan hoped that this was just a momentary weakness of his and not a long-term plan. She started to breathe a little faster, her cheeks were blushing, and confusion was obvious on her face. Natsume finally released her, letting his fingers glide down her arm and touch her fingers, and then he stepped back. He gave her a half smile and saluted her goodbye.

''See you around.'' He told her, while he passed her and disappeared around the corner.

Mikan stared after him in shock, her back leaning on the wall, her breathing and her heart still racing.

''What just happened?'' she whispered under her breath, trying to calm herself down. She shook her head in disbelieve, and quickly rushed towards her classroom. She did not mention anything about this to Anna. She was sure she just imagined things and that Hyuuga finally manipulated her into thinking he was attracted to her.

But then, moments as this one started to happen more often. She often passed Hyuuga in the corridor and whenever she did, he caught her eyes and gave her that half-smile that made her nervous. He often bumped into her when she was alone and took advantage of the moment to touch her shoulder, or graze her arm. Mikan was sure she understood the signals, but did not want to admit it to herself. That Natsume Hyuuga took interest in her in a complete different way than up until now.

And she was not sure how to feel about it. She felt scared of course. He was a horrible human and a dangerous bully, and even if he looked very good, even if he was extremely attractive, Mikan was simply too afraid of him to respond to his obvious attempts to catch her attention in a different way.

But she was not just scared. She was horribly angry. Throughout her whole high school life, he bullied her and her friends. And now he expected she would simply forget about it and… and… Kami-sama, she could not even think about it, les even imagine it.

And in that one moment, her fear vanished. What she felt for the boy was pure anger – not hatred; he was not worth such strong feelings; anger – how dare he? How dare he do this? Who the hell does he think he is? Does he think he can do whatever he wants, and then wrap her around his little finger? Was he actually that arrogant?

Mikan felt suddenly very confident. She straightened up and walked down the corridor with new confidence. She would take it upon her and do something about this.

In the next few days, Mikan did not avoid Natsume; when he glanced at her, she glanced at him; if he touched her arm, she did not move away or flinch; if he passed her and starred at her, she starred right back – not in that welcome way, but blank, simply blank. She would see how he would react after that.

And then came the day, when Nonoko finally woke up. She did not remember a few things, but she was, at least physically, all right. She did; however, have huge psychological problems controlling her fear. She had a few panic attacks, but the doctors told her parents they would help her.

Mikan and Anna could finally talk to her.

''And they really stopped?'' Nonoko asked again, surprised at the revelation. Both of her friends nodded.

''It's like they got scared about what they caused.'' Anna explained. ''No one is currently being bullied. And I hope it will stay like that.''

''Will they do something about it?''

''I think no – if no one speaks up, then…'' Mikan replied, already thinking about her own words. Would they really stay silent? Would no one tell on the gang?

They were silent for some time.

''I'm not going back to this school.'' Nonoko suddenly said and made the two girls look at her. ''I'm going to do the exams at the education institute and then decide which university I'll be attending.'' She explained further, waiting for the reply.

It was Mikan who spoke up first. ''That's a good idea. Have you already thought about which university you'd like to attend?'' she smiled and broke the tension. The girls finally laughed – it had been a long time since they last behaved so carefree. They chatted the day away and bid goodbye with a smile.

On Monday, after school, Mikan received the surprise of her life. She knew that Natsume paid a lot of attention to her for these past months, but that he would ask her to meet him after school in the school park – that was something she never expected. And now, she was sitting next to him at the bench, waiting for him to tell her what he wanted. She just hoped she was wrong in her assumptions.

''Sakura…'' He started, looking at her a little nervous. He was obviously aware of the fact that what he wanted was something she would not give. But he had to try.

''Mikan… I'm sorry for what I – we have done to you up until now. I lost track of what we were doing and wasn't aware it went that far. And the thing is… I started to realize this some time ago. I think I like you. Would you like to hang out with me in the near future, as in go on a date? Perhaps this Saturday?''

Mikan's eyes widened and she starred at him in surprise. She did not expect this. She really did not expect this. She was speechless for a moment and Natsume waited for her answer patiently. He watched her think it through and noticed the different emotions playing on her face.

She blinked at him, glancing away for a second and then straightened up.

''Thanks, but no.'' She replied and Natsume was silent for a moment, hardly believing what he heard. He blinked in confusion and looked at her. ''What?''

''I said, thank you, but I'll decline.'' Mikan told him with a tight smile on her face.

''You can't go out this Saturday?''

''No, I mean I won't go out with you. Ever. But thank you.'' She waived her hand, stood up, and turned around to walk away. But he grabbed her arm and spun her around. ''What do you mean you won't go? Why?'' he was frowning in confusion and slight anger.

''I mean that I don't want to.''

''Why not? I already said sorry. And no one has ever said no to me.''

''Well then, I'll be the first. Goodbye.''

''Wait. Please give me an explanation.''

''Why would you need that? Just go ask someone else.''

''But I asked you. I want to go with you.''

''Hyuuga.'' Mikan pulled her arm out of his grip. ''You bullied me and my friends since the first day of high school. That's almost four years. You let your gang beat up my friend until he was unconscious. You wrecked my bicycle, knowing very well I have nothing else to come to school. And after I put on some makeup and throw a few smiles around, you suddenly pay attention to me for completely different reasons than before, and you expect me to like you enough to go out with you? Really? I'm not sure if you're simply being ignorant or do you have a mental illness. I'll finally press charges, Hyuuga if you as much as glance my way. Got that?''

She walked away then, leaving the boy behind. He did not stop her. He stared after her, thinking about what she said. For a second he got angry, like he usually did if something did not go his way. But what she said was true. And he was the one spitting over people who did not stand for themselves. She did. She finally did.

And he felt awful. He knew that Mikan saying yes to him would be the miracle of the century. She was far from stupid or weak. And he had been attracted to her for a very long time – he was just too arrogant to admit it to himself and start behaving like a normal person.

Mikan walked home, feeling great. She felt powerful and strong. She finally told Hyuuga off and if he had the guts to do something again, she had enough proof against him to put him and his gang in jail for some time.

The bastard can rot in hell for all she cared. He could die now and she would laugh at it. He would deserve it. And if he hurt anyone one more time, she would kill him herself.

The next day she walked into school, there was something strange going on. It was quiet. The halls were peaceful. Students walked and looked around, unsure of what was going on. Natsume and his gang were not parading and bullying people.

People noticed Ruka, Koko and Sumire and a few boys talking in the corner. Even Natsume was there, but he was sitting on a window shelf and reading a manga. Ignoring the people around him. Mikan had to pass those people and she carefully glanced their way.

Nothing.

No one reacted.

Not even Natsume.

It seemed he finally took her seriously. And he better did – because she will no longer let him do whatever he wanted. She pulled out her phone, just to be prepared if he glanced at her. She was serious; she would call the authorities if he did something. Anna still had bruises on her hand.

Once she was out of sight, Mikan stopped and leaned on the wall.

Just what had she been thinking?

She should not just threaten them; she should call someone. If she did not do something, this could continue. Bullies will always stay bullies. They do not change. They adapt, maybe, but they still do things that hurt others.

She should call someone.

Her hands were shaking, when she looked at her phone.

She would have to tell everything. And all these guys would end up in juvenile. She would have to explain every detail of what she and the others experienced. And if she did not, it would all happen again. Bullies do not stop with the bullying. They take a break, find another victim and then one day they look at you, smirk, and raise their fist again. It never stops unless you do something about it. If you do not, no one else will.

Mikan took a deep breath.

''Sorry Hyuuga. I won't wait for you to make the first move.''

And she reported them.

Finally.

* * *

It finally came out.

The truth finally came out.

The inspectors received all photos, all videos, and all statements needed to press charges against students who bullied other students. There were many victims. Almost half of the school. And the main culprits were finally taken care of. Sumire, Koko, Mochu, Ruka, Natsume, and many others. While the others tried to get themselves out of it, Natsume did not. Once the inspectors asked him to come with them, he did not mutter a word and simply stood up to go with them.

Mikan watched them being taken away from a corner, not really being sorry for them. They deserved it. If nothing else, people will not be bullied anymore. She did not care about what happened to these bullies. She just wanted peace. She just wanted to graduate high school. She just wanted to live without fear.

And if she had to be the one to make it happen, then so be it.

For a second she did think about Ruka not being one of them, but… He always just watched them do whatever they wanted, never saying anything – he was one of them. Simple as that.

Mikan sighed and walked back to class. She did not need to watch that. She was happy knowing it was happening. When she sat down, she realized she was alone in the classroom. Everyone was out of class, watching the guys being brought out. The inspectors even took teachers to ask them about the whole thing – the bullying could not have gone unnoticed, so therefore, the teachers had to be punished too. They did not help the students in need and ignored the situation completely. A teacher was not allowed to do something like that.

Mikan was sure the whole school would close down for a while so they could put things in order again. That would take a long time, she was sure. Because this place was sick. It was ill and the students were ill, as well as the teachers. It would take years to make things right again.

Finally, after a long time, students started to return to class to gather their stuff. The teachers were under inspection. Mikan gathered her bag and without words, like the rest of the students, walked out. She saw Anna in the hall and they looked at each other. It seemed Anna realized that it was Mikan who did all this. But she did not say a thing. She simply accompanied her friend home. When they arrived they put their stuff down and took a long walk through the park.

After a long hour of silence, Mikan finally opened her mouth and told Anna what she did. She told her everything, every detail. Anna cried, happy that Mikan did what everyone was so afraid of doing. She broke through. She spread her wings and flew into the sky.


	3. Cut in Half

_**Wings to Fly**_

* * *

At the graduation ceremony, new teachers, and a new headmaster leading the institution, Mikan was standing in the row of her class in front of the stage and stared at the headmaster who was giving his speech. She did not hear a word he said.

Her mind was full of memories, scenes that occurred at this place, and people playing an important role in her life. Her peers seemed to be enwrapped in the headmaster's words, listening intently and not moving an inch. Each one of them held his rolled graduate certificate in their hands, and wore a small smile, indicating the happiness they felt to be finally free of this place.

Mikan was glad too, more than just glad. She was happy that she made it through in one piece. She knew that if she had not done what she did, things would not have changed. Maybe for her yes, because she would not be here, but the students coming after her – they would be infected with the ill atmosphere and nothing would have changed.

It had been the same with their generation. It was not as if the bullies were like that from the beginning. There were older students who attracted them with their coolness of self-importance and control over other students. It was fun for them to walk through the corridor and everyone made space for them, avoiding their eyes. It was fun when a person of the same age cried and begged you to forgive him or her for whatever he or she had done.

Mikan still remembered the first time she witnessed a scene like that. It was in her first year; she could have not imagined she would be in their place sometime later. As a happy-go-lucky freshman, she walked into the building with bright eyes and with intentions to experience everything good. She started with a group of friends; Anna and Nonoko her closest ones. They were all chatting about school and friends one day when it happened.

An older boy came rushing through the corridor, but was soon stopped by a group of other boys. Mikan and her friends shut up in shock when they saw the group push the boy to the wall. It was a scary scene.

''Tetsuma, Tetsuma, Tetsuma.'' The leader threatened the poor boy with his deep voice, an evil smirk playing on his lips. ''What did I tell you about greeting me in the morning?''

The boy whimpered and whispered a weak ''Good morning.''.

The leader pulled the boy by his collar and the violently pushed him back at the wall. The boy stifled his cry, his whole body shaking violently. ''I-I'm sorry… Good morning.'' The boy said lauder and the group laughed. The leader pushed the boy to the floor and let him there, walking away with his followers.

Mikan and her friends were frozen to the spot, watching the poor boy stand up shakily and walk away. ''What was that?'' Anna asked and looked at her friends.

''Were they bullying him?''

''Does something like that actually happen?''

''Kami-sama… These upper-classmen are crazy.''

The next few days they witnessed even more incidence like this. It was also the time Natsume Hyuuga accidentally bumped into Mikan. They locked eyes as he apologized and gave her a half-smile. Mikan smiled back, blushing slightly. He was a very handsome boy of her age.

''It's not a problem. I wasn't watching as well…'' she told him shyly, her heart beating a little faster with the attention the boy was giving her.

''Then… See you around…'' he saluted, glanced her way one more tie and walked off. Mikan stared after him, her cheeks warm and her chest a little tight. It was a nice feeling.

They bumped into each other several times after that and Mikan's friends got the idea it was not a coincidence. Every time Natsume bumped into Mikan, he smirked at her, and helped her steady herself. He usually held her by her shoulders and told her it was his bad. Mikan was flattered by the attention and started hoping for him to change his tactics of approaching her and simply start talking to her in a normal way. If he asked her out anytime soon, she would have nothing against it.

But for some time, Mikan noticed he stared at the bullying group with admirable eyes – not when they bullied people, but when they walked through the corridor like kings and queens. His eyes followed them, smiling a little at the sight of their confident laughter and laud conversations.

There was one time he noticed Mikan speaking with Yuu, her classmate in front of her classroom. The two were laughing at a joke and Mikan playfully pushed at the boy's shoulder. Natsume found his reason to start his new way of gaining attention and once again bumped into her, this time not apologizing, glaring at the boy next to her. After that it just went on, his bullying side finally coming out with full force.

Mikan did not know who was his first actual victim, but she did hear from her friends that Yuu got his food smashed into his face one day. His and his friends' victims were many people Mikan knew, but it was not until later that year that they actually focused on her. Natsume was the one opening the season. He tripped her in the full corridor, her panties showing. The group laughed, Natsume throwing her an evil smirk she saw by the older bullies. ''Careful there, Sakura… Look at where you're going.''

It broke her inexperienced heart and hurt her to the core. But that was nothing comparing to what was about to come. Since that day, hell opened up under her feet and she fell in like a stone. She was not the only one of course, but it felt like that.

Every day someone bullied her; sometimes they stole her belongings and hid them, and sometimes they destroyed her books and notebooks. It happened several times that either her sportswear or her spare uniform went missing. Most of the time; however, Natsume and his followers liked to gang up on her, push her around, pull at her hair, or flush her face in the toilet.

The humiliation and fear Mikan and many of her peers felt at such moments were nothing in comparison to the hurt they felt after realizing there was no one trying to help. No one. Not even the teachers. They all looked away when someone was being bullied.

The desperation for a solution was so strong that Mikan even tried to tell her mother about it one time. But as soon as she opened her mouth, she felt pathetic. Pathetic and embarrassed. She felt bad for being such a weak girl, running to her mother when someone was being mean to her. She knew she should say something, but the humiliation made her cover her eyes and ears and she hid herself in a corner and let her tears fall only when she was alone.

But it is all in the past.

The bullies were taken to the Juvenile Treatment Centre, where they had to spend a year going to therapist sessions and doing some work. They were punished for their behaviour and actions, and Mikan could only hope they would come out as different people.

Now, at the end of her high school education, finally free of these sick people, Mikan still felt afraid. Her teenage life had been wasted and she had no idea what normal behaviour towards confident people looked like. Her poor mother who had cried for days and nights once she learned about Mikan's problem, tried to help her stand on her own feet. Together they attended sessions with a therapist and Mikan had no idea if it would actually help her.

She had no idea if she would ever heal. She tried of course – the optimistic person inside her did not die; it had been sleeping for a few years, but it was slowly waking up, its eyes fluttering open, taking slow breaths.

She would make it somehow. She would walk out with her head raised, her eyes bright, and her heart yearning for the future that was ahead of her.

''So, dear students!'' the new headmaster's voice reached her ears. ''Your life just started. Live it, giving your all. I wish you best of luck on your path, and I hope you will all achieve everything you set for yourself.''

Mikan smiled, clapped her hands, and breathed in. Her life just started.


	4. Heal

_**Wings to Fly**_

* * *

Her first year of university life Mikan started very carefully. She decided to study at the Tokio University of Technology in the School of Design department. The University consisted of five departments: The Design Department; Health Science; Media Science; Computer Science; and Graduate School of Bionics, Computer and Media Science.

She decided to improve her designing skills and after a while, she realized she made the right decision. Her classmates were a bunch of funny people and she befriended them, although a little reluctantly. She did not speak much in class; she also avoided big crowds; and did not hang out with her peers much. She was still very affected by her high school life; She also had her weekly sessions with her therapist with who she talked about her high school experience.

When her mother Yuka received the information about what had been going on, she immediately did everything to help her daughter. She blamed herself for being so blind, but eventually Mikan persuaded her that she really had been too embarrassed to tell her. Mikan made quite a progress since she started talking to her therapist; she was happy again, and did not start shaking whenever a big group of people talked to her.

A few of her classmates; Tsubasa Ando, Misaki Harada, Kaname Sono, Hayate Matsudaira, Akira Tonouchi, and Hotaru Imai became her friends. At first, Mikan was reluctant to talk with anyone. The only people she considered true friends had been up until now Anna and Nonoko; but the two of them were attending other Universities. Nonoko decided to become a Kindergarten teacher, and Anna a cook. The three of them met every weekend and chatted about what was going on in their lives, but other than that, they did not have much time for each other.

And Mikan, at the beginning of the school year, was still too shy to start a random conversation with a stranger. She still flinched if someone raised his arm near her; she still started breathing heavily and felt claustrophobic if she found herself in a crowd; and she still stuttered if someone asked her too many questions.

But it seemed Hotaru Imai liked Mikan in a way, because she was the first one to befriend her. After the final lecture of that day, she walked towards Mikan and stopped in front of her. Mikan looked at her in confusion.

''Y-yes?'' she stuttered, being a little afraid of the stoic girl.

''Hey, I was absent yesterday. Would you mind lending me your notebook, so I could take it to the copy room and make a copy of your notes? I noticed you write almost everything what the professor says, so…'' Hotaru explained, watching the girl in front of her struggle with different emotions.

''It's just a favour, Mikan. She's not threatening you. Don't panic.'' Mikan thought to herself and finally nodded. ''Of-of course I can lend it to you.''

''The copying won't take long. We could go drink some tee, while waiting.'' Hotaru suggested, and noticed Mikan's hands shake a little. Mikan felt overwhelmed. She was happy and scared at the same time. She felt tears in her eyes, but she tried to control her emotions. ''Yes… Yes, all right. Th-the cafeteria is next to the copy room, isn't it?''

Hotaru smiled at Mikan's shy behaviour. ''It is. Let's go.''

The two girls walked towards the copy room and Mikan lend Hotaru her notebook. She gave it to the lady behind the copy machine and they had half an hour to wait. They entered the cafeteria and Mikan stopped for a second breathing in and out, and prepared herself to enter the crowd. Hotaru noticed her struggle and led her to the terrace. They sat down and ordered tea.

''Thank you, for your notebook. I had classes in the technology department yesterday and couldn't attend.'' Hotaru started the conversation.

''R-really? You-you're in the t-technology department as well? How do you manage?'' Mikan asked in surprise.

Hotaru shrugged and smirked. ''I guess I'm good enough to do both. I'm Hotaru Imai, by the way.''

Only now did Mikan realize that she did not introduce herself yet. ''Oh, um… I'm Mikan Sakura. Nice to meet you, Imai-san.''

''You can call me Hotaru. I don't like to be too formal with my classmates. May I call you Mikan?''

''S-sure, no problem.'' Mikan felt happy once again, but she did not know what to ask her new acquaintance. Hotaru was faster.

''So which high school did you attend, Mikan?''

''Oh, um… Gakuen Alice. It's not far away from this university.'' She explained.

Hotaru heard of this high school. It had to be shut down for a few weeks some time ago, because someone reported massive bullying going on in that school. Several teachers lost their job because they did not do anything about it, while it was going on and many students were send to community homes to receive their punishments. Half of the student population had been bullying victims.

Hotaru realized Mikan Sakura must have been one of those victims. Her behaviour was simply too obvious. However, she did not say her thoughts out laud.

''Ah… I attended Tokio High School, and a few of our classmates did too.''

''The group you're usually with?''

''Yes. I'll introduce you if you want. And I'll ask you if you can lend me the notebook whenever I'll have to be at the Science Department.''

Mikan thought about it. This would be a big step for her. Her therapist told her she should start meeting new people, and this would be her chance. ''All right. I would be happy to.''

When the copies were made, the two girls bid goodbye to each other and Mikan went home. She told her mother what just happened and Yuka hugged her.

The next day, Hotaru introduced Mikan to her friends. Mikan was hiding her shaking hands behind her back, but smiled at the group that welcomed her with open arms. Hotaru smiled at her new friend and carefully touched her shoulder. Mikan looked at her with slightly teary eyes and laughed when Hotaru told her a few funny secrets about the boys.

''Hey! I wanted to make a good first impression, Hotaru you traitor!'' Akira whined and the others laughed.

''These boys are harmless. They have big mouths, but nothing behind it.'' Hotaru mentioned to Mikan. Mikan nodded and the group decided to sit together in class. Mikan sat near the door, a habit she developed at high school. She was lucky the teacher decided to revise stuff that hour, because she really was not able to concentrate at her studies with the group telling funny jokes and making her laugh the whole time.

A weight fell off her shoulders. She felt relaxed. And she told that to her therapist who was very satisfied. From that point on, Mikan made progress. She accepted this group as her friends and started hanging out with them. At first she only went to study sessions with them; after some time, they persuaded her to go to festivals and other big events with them; and eventually Mikan caved. And she did not regret it. She had a lot of fun, and after almost a whole year, she finally told Hotaru what she went through in high school.

Hotaru listened to her stuttering words and let her cry. Mikan was still not comfortable to be hugged, but after a few hours of emotional roll coaster, she let Hotaru hug her. And at first she wanted to move away, but she felt Hotaru's hand caress her back and relaxed. After Mikan calmed down, Hotaru admitted that she had a hunch that this was the case with her. She had noticed her reactions and when Mikan had told her which High School she had been attending, she was sure what the problem was.

Mikan was glad she had a friend who knew everything.

The rest of the year was pure bliss for Mikan. She gained great friends; received excellent grades; and her mother got a rise at the hospital. Life could not be more perfect.

Her second year at the University started with a shock. As already mentioned, the Tokio University consisted of five departments – in other words, five different faculties were put in one building, which meant people from all these departments had to co-exist in the building.

And guess who started his first year in the Computer Science Department?

Natsume Hyuuga. After a year of serving his punishment, he graduaded from High School with flying colours and was accepted into this University.

Mikan noticed him in the entrance hall, where he looked around a little confused. From appearance, he did not change much. He was still extremely good-looking; but there was this lack of his self-centred smirk. He was alone and he seemed not sure where he had to go.

Mikan stopped in her tracks, her face visibly paler than before. Her friends noticed her being left behind and stopped.

''What is it?'' Akira asked confused.

Hotaru tried to follow Mikan's stare, but Mikan averted her eyes too quickly and stepped back. ''Uh… Um… I-I have to rush to the library. You guys go on without me.'' And off she was, quickly walking away.

Her friends watched her disappear.

''What just happened?'' asked Misaki concerned and looked around to see what made Mikan react like this. Hotaru did the same, but could not figure it out. She did not notice the black-haired boy glancing their way with a disappointed expression.


	5. Slowly

_**Wings to Fly**_

* * *

Flushing toilet; her head hitting the wall; hair pulling; clothes diasappearing; tripping in the middle of the corridor; screaming; threatening, laughing; laughing; laughing; and the spinning around; everything becoming blurry and mixed up; and Mikan had to breath in really deep to shook it out of her head.

She was falling into a panic attack and she had to prevent that.

She was hiding in the loo, crouching next to the toiler, her head in between her knees. She was breathing uncontrolably, her whole body shaking as her mind provided memories of those dreadful four years.

She reached for her phone in her bag, but her hands were shaking so much that when she grabbed it, it fell out of her hands, and hit the floor. She grabed it and pressed it to her chest.

Her therapist told her what to do during such moments, but she was yet to get a grip of herself. She would be throwing up soon if she did not gain control over herself. She slowly looked up, her eyes red and a few tears escaping. She leaned back on the closed door and put her hands on her chest, trying to think how to breath.

Slowly.

Think of a place you would like to be, Mikan, the therapist had told her. A meadow. A beautiful green meadow with flowers dancing in the wind and fresh air filled with the sweetnes of spring time. That is where she would like to be. Lying on the grass, her hair surrounding her head, the breeze carressing her skin, the grass tickling her nose and making her giggle.

Mikan's breathing finally eavened. Her hands were still shaking but the anxiety was gone. The panic was gone. She was all right. She was not in high school anymore. She was in college now. She had friends, and she was good at what she was doing. Her mother was proud of her. She was ok.

She was ok.

''I'm ok.'' She whispered to herself. ''I'm ok.'' She repeated a few times and then finally relaxed. She slowly stood up and opened the door. She washed her face, put some make up on her face again and walked out of the loo.

''Calm down, Mikan. There's nothing to be afraid of.'' She thought to herself. And it was not like she were afraid of Natsume. She did have a more or less normal conversation with him the last time she saw him. She told him exactly what she thought of him, and he did behave like a normal human in the last few weeks before he and his friends were locked up. But seeing him here was a bit of a shock to her. It brought up bad memories. She returned to her friends and apologized to have run away like that. She did not tell them the reason, and they did not push her.

Her therapist told her she should face her problem and in a way face the boy. It would help her leave her past behind her.

When she saw Natsume again a few days later, she did not run away anymore. She passed him with a glance and he glanced at her, and this happened a few more times. Then one day, Mikan nodded in greeting at him, and he nodded back. She felt better after that.

They greeted each other like that for a few months until Mikan decided to make an important step forward. When she noticed him in the entrance hall again, his new friends next to him, she gently waived her hand at him, once he glanced at her. He looked at her and waived back. But then Mikan did something else. With her hand, she indicated to him to wait for a moment. She turned towards her friends and smiled. ''Go on without me. I'll just greet someone.''

Hotaru watched her carefully and nodded.

''We'll be at the cafeteria.'' Told her Tsubasa.

''Alright. See you.'' She walked forward towards Natsume and he walked towards her. They met in the middle and Mikan reluctantly greeted him.

''Hey, Sakura-san.'' He greeted back. ''So you study here. Which department are you in?''

''I'm in the Design Department. You?''

''Computer Science. I enrolled this year.''

Mikan nodded, but did not know what else to say.

''How have you been?'' Natsume breathed out, obviously as nervous as she. He was fidgeting, and shifted his weight from one foot to another.

''Good. I- I met nice people here and school is great. You?''

''I'm fine too. I…'' he gulped. ''I'm still on therapy, so…''

''Yeah… Yeah… Me too.''

Natume glanced around, unsure how to start the more serious conversation. He looked at her again; making Mikan's heart beat like crazy again. ''Hey, would you-''

''I'm sorry, Hyuuga-san. But I'll have to go now. I promised my friends to meet them.'' Mikan quickly interrupted his invitation for a talk, still not ready to face him. Natsume's shoulders fell and he looked disappointed. But he smiled warily anyway and nodded. ''All right. Then maybe next time.''

''Yeah…'' Mikan whispered and waived her hand in goodbye. She walked away towards the cafeteria, glancing one last time at Natsume. He watched her walk away with the same wary expression and he waived at her in goodbye.

Mikan took a deep breath and smiled to herself. She was improving. She was definitely improving. Once she arrived at the cafeteria, her friends started to ask her about Natsume.

''He's an acquaintance from High School. I passed him many times since the beginning of school and I thought it would be time to actually greet him properly.'' She explained.

''He's hot.'' Commented Misaki and Tsubasa glared at her. Even Hotaru admitted that this was true. Hayate and Tsubasa glared at the girls. ''Superficial much?'' Tsubasa mumbled.

''Look who's talking.'' Misaki told him sarcastically with a smirk.

''Mikan, he's not your boyfriend, isn't he?'' Akira asked jealously and frowned. Mikan shook her head and did not say about anything Natsume anymore. For the next few days, the two of them greeted each other as they did up until now. But at the end of the week, it was Natsume who gathered his courage and indicated to her to talk to him after classes.

Mikan again excused herself from her friends and took a deep breath. Her therapist told her that she should work on this matter between them. She walked towards Natsume and he walked towards her again.

''Hey…'' she greeted him.

''Hello. How are you?'' he asked, again visibly nervous.

''Quite all right. I had a nice week. You?''

''I'm also ok.'' He took a deep breath. ''Hey… Would you take a walk with me?'' and talk to me, was his hidden question, but Mikan understood. It had to happen. She wanted it to happen. She wanted to leave the past behind and live a normal life. And she could do that only after she finally faced Natsume.

''Yeah… Yeah, I'll go.'' She told him, her hands shaking slightly.

Natsume's eyes widened and he smiled gently. ''Great… Great, shall we go to the park?''

Mikan nodded and together they walked out of the building and through the Campus park. They sat down on a bench and were silent for a moment.

''Thanks for listening.''

''Yeah… I wanted to.'' She glanced at him, but he was staring in front of himself.

''I was in the community home for almost a year and I took therapy there. I graduated from High School right after I came out and now I'm here…'' he looked at her, his eyes remorseful. ''I'm sorry, Mikan. For everything what I've done. I had been a horrible person and I'm aware that nothing will make it good, but I… I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am.''

Mikan visibly relaxed. She needed these words. Sincere words, not like last time, when he only wanted to go out with her. ''I won't ever be able to forget, Natsume.'' She started, making him flinch. ''But, I've forgiven you some time ago. Thank you for telling me.''

He relaxed after that, gently smiling at her. ''Thank you. I was a little scared of this moment.''

''Me too. My therapist told me that I might even panic, but I wanted to move forward and well…''

''Yeah, my therapist told me the same. But I was not sure if you'd let me speak with you.''

''I would. I wanted to. And my friends nagged me for a long time who you are – they became a little suspicious about our strange way of greeting.'' Mikan smiled at Natsume for the first time and he smiled back, happy to be accepted in a positive way.

''Mine did too. They think we're a secret couple or something. And one of them nagged me for your phone number.''

''Really? The girls asked about you too. The boys are a little sceptical, though… Male ego and such…''

Natsume chuckled. ''Yeah, I can imagine. But, one of these days, I'll have to introduce you, because they're quite persistent.''

Mikan nodded. ''Sure. And you guys will meet my friends. They're a bunch of funny people, so I think it'll be great.''

''Mhm, we could go to lunch together one day – I noticed we eat at the same time in the cafeteria.''

''True, then next week we could try this out.'' Mikan suggested. Natsume looked at her with bright eyes. He seemed like another person since she saw him in high school.

''Great, I'll just have to punch them a few times because they'll hit on you – you have to be aware of that. They are quite smitten with you.''

Mikan blushed. ''W-what? Really? I mean… wow…''

Natsume laughed. ''Don't worry. They're great guys.''

The two chatted for some time until it was time for Mikan to go to her therapist. They bid goodbye and on her way to the therapist, Mikan thought about what just happened. She just had a friendly conversation with Natsume Hyuuga. She talked with Nastume Hyuuga as if he was an old friend. She talked about it with her therapist and then called Anna and Nonoko. They had a lot to talk about.

And on Monday, Mikan met Natsume during a break, and he introduced her to his friends.

''This is Mikan Sakura, guys. Mikan-san, these ar-''

''So you're Mikan! Natsume is being so secretive about you and I tried to make him tell us ab- ouch, man, don't hit me!'' the guy next to Natsume whined as Natsume punched him in the shoulder.

''Leave her be. You're scaring her.''

But Mikan only giggled. ''Nice to meet you guys.''

''Hey, Mikan-chan, are you and Nastume a couple? You two are awfully familiar with each other.''

Mikan blushed and Natsume glared at one of his friends. ''Uh… N-no, we're… we're not a couple.'' She stuttered, not knowing how she should name her relationship with Natsume. A friend? An acquaintance? Something in between? ''We went to school together.'' She explained instead and Natsume nodded.

''Aww… Poor Natsume. But that means I can ask y- ouch, dammit!'' Natsume stepped on his friend's foot this time and looked at Mikan.

''I think your friends are heading this way.'' He told her, his eye twitching, and Mikan looked behind her in surprise. And really, her group was walking in their direction. Mikan smiled and waved them to come here.

''Hey, Mikan, so here you are.'' Started Hayate and looked around.

''Guys, this is Natsume Hyuuga. We went to High School together. And these are his friends.''

The huge group of people started introducing themselves and soon they were sitting in the cafeteria, eating lunch. Mikan and Natsume could not believe it went that well and that fast.

''That went better than expected.'' Whispered Natsume to Mikan, while they were sitting at the table and watching their friends get along very well.

Mikan nodded. ''I thought they'll need more time, but obviously I was wrong. I think they forgot about us.''

''Nope, that Akira is glaring at us.''

''Ah, yeah… He is a little overprotective of me. Whenever I talk with a stranger, he gets a little jealous. I'm not sure what to do about it.''

''He likes you? Are you two together?''

''Ah, no no. He's just a friend. But I do have a feeling he'd like to be more than that.''

''And you?''

Mikan glanced at Natsume. ''I want to be his friend.''

Natsume nodded, understanding that she was not in love with Akira.


	6. To Fly Again

_**Wings to Fly**_

* * *

The two groups soon became one and in the next few months, they all became good friends. To everyone except Mikan, it was obvious that Nastume Hyuuga was hopelessly in love with her. He did not say it or ever discussed it with anyone, but his actions and his behaviour towards her was so pathetically love-struck that even Hotaru pitied him.

Even after almost two years of hanging out, he did not dare to pursue Mikan. The others did not understand why he waited. Why he never went for someone else. They did not know he was the one who had bullied Mikan in High School. She never told anyone.

And if Mikan harboured any romantic feelings towards him, she never said. She often blushed, that was true, but that was because she never had a boyfriend before – Natsume knew that. It had been his fault to start with.

In High School, he did have a slight crush on her and he did tease her at the beginning just to get her attention, but after some time, his bullying side got the better of him and he and his friends just… He will never understand what had been going on with him that time. The point was that throughout high school, Mikan never had a boyfriend because she had been traumatized from the bullying; and throughout her university years, she was healing from that. She still had some problems with communicating with people, but she was mostly all right.

She did not flinch anymore, she did not avoid crowds, and she did not have any panic attacks. She was again a happy-go-lucky girl.

When Mikan received her diploma at the end of her three-year university education, she cried with joy. Her classmates were in the same state as she was, and Natsume and his group that still had a year to go, congratulated them sincerely. Even Anna and Nonoko came to stay with Mikan and her friends. They hugged and shook hands, and the youth was in such good spirits that they celebrated their graduation by dancing at the festival nearby.

The night flew away with the friends drinking and fooling around, remembering things during their university time. Mikan did not drink; she sipped at her juice and laughed at her friends making fools of themselves. Natsume kept her company for some time and they spent the night watching and later on dancing with the group.

It was the happiest night of Mikan's life.

''How do you feel now?'' Hotaru asked her, as she came to have a drink.

Mikan stared at her happy, crazy friends and then up into the starry sky. ''I'm very very happy.'' She said and smiled. ''I'm glad I met you guys. And I'm glad we mixed together with Natsume's group. I honestly never thought something like this would happen. I'm…'' and her eyes welled up with happy tears. ''I'm really, really happy now.''

Hotaru threw her arm around Mikan laughingly and pulled her closer, pushing Mikan's head into her shoulder to hide those tears. Mikan giggled, wiping away the tears and hugged Hotaru. When they broke away, Mikan felt someone's eyes on her and glanced towards her friends. Anna and Nonoko were smiling at her, giving her thumbs up for making such progress. Mikan laughed, not noticing another pair of eyes; not until she glanced his way and realized he was also smiling at her. She waived to him and he waived back then turned away as Tono pulled him back into the dancing circle.

As Mikan came back home that night, her mother sleeping, she leaned on the door for a few moments and watched her mother. She wore a content smile on face. There was no need for her mother to worry about her anymore. She finally had control over her life. She finished school and she had friends. She would start searching for a job, maybe travel for some time and then… Who knows…

She was ready to take up the world.

She was ready to face the adulthood and be the one to take care of herself and her mother.

She would make it.

She knew it.

And the first step she made, was sending around job applications to every possible design company. Of course she did not get a chance right away. While she could do nothing but wait, she decided to visit different places around Japan that she had never been to. Sometimes Anna and Nonoko came with her, and sometimes it were Natsume, Hotaru, Tsubasa, and Misaki.

They all visited Kyoto, Takayama, Magome, and even Okinawa. With traveling rucksacks on their backs and hats on their heads to prevent sunburn, they climbed up the Fuji and took pictures and videos, and at the end of the next year, Mikan made so many beautiful memories, she was even more happy.

If her high school life had been one horrible nightmare, her university and post-university life was pure bliss. Her photo albums were getting thicker, her traveling diary full, and her shelves decorated with many souvenirs.

She finally got a job offer as an assistant trainee in one of the designing companies and she could not believe her luck. In the meantime, Natsume and his classmates graduated from university and were about to walk into the real life.

They all were growing up into adults. Mikan felt herself changing, and sometimes it scared her, but mostly, she was glad she made it through. Her confidence became bigger; she was focused and hard-working; but most of all, she had to admit to herself that her emotions changed too.

She knew exactly when her feelings for Natsume developed into more than just friendship. She did not see it coming – she had to admit that. She thought that her former bully would only stay her friend. She guessed it had something to do with him behaving like that towards her. Like a lovesick puppy.

At first she thought she felt into that psychological trap, as she heard from her therapist – many victims developed a bound with their torturer, mistaking it with love. And at that time she relaxed, because she knew that if she realized the problem, she would be able to solve it. But it turned out what she felt was not just a simple bound; it were in fact very strong emotions.

She felt attracted to him; she wanted to spend more time with him; and she loved to talk with him. The person he became was someone she respected and admired. And in-between hanging out with him and working for school, her heart started beating faster, her cheeks blushed, and warmth spread all over her chest whenever she so much as thought of him.

She did not act upon her feelings. She was unsure, shy, and inexperienced. She was afraid of showing her affections. She knew he felt something for her; he showed it on more than just one occasion. But there were times she remembered those awful moments in high school, and she retreated back into her shell, too frightened to peek out.

She knew it was not fair that she was hiding herself. She should let the past behind her and move on, but she was still unsure. Not quite ready. She was waiting for him to do something - if he decided to. It was not as if she knew what she wanted. She had never experienced love like that, so she did not miss it. But she longed for such happiness and she – if she ever gathered enough courage to admit it out loud – would like to experience such happiness with Natsume.

Even just thinking about it made her giddy and nervous. But mostly, it made her blush.

She never dared to talk about this with anyone. She talked about Natsume's change with Anna and Nonoko, and she discussed her friendship with him with Hotaru and Misaki, but her affections stayed unmentioned.

She felt uncomfortable talking about this with someone who was not him. And to actually tell him… She was not there yet. She was not ready… She wanted to heal and live before making another step.

She would somehow make it.

Maybe…

And the evening after Natsume and his friends received their diploma certificates, the huge group decided to celebrate by once again visit a spring festival. They would all wear traditional yukatas and walk around.

They guys were waiting for the girls to come and soon they did. Natsume obviously froze, and blinked. There she was, walking towards them, a bright smile on her face, a flowery yukata hugging her body perfectly, and her dreamy voice reaching his ears.

''Close your mouth, Hyuuga.'' Chuckled Tsubasa and Natsume quickly shut his mouth, and gulped.

''Hey, guys.'' Greeted the girls and mingled among them. Mikan smiled shyly at everyone and stopped next to Natsume. ''Hey…'' she greeted him and the poor boy gulped one more time. ''H-hey… You look good.''

''Thank you. You too.''

''So where should we go first?'' they heard Hotaru's voice and turned to her. ''Let's play first and then see the fireworks.'' Suggested Anna and smiled.

''Sure.''

And they walked around, playing games at the stands, and ate delicious food. They talked and laughed, and Mikan felt so happy she could die. She noticed Natsume did not leave her side at all, even waited for her when she had ot go to the toilet. He was entertaining her with his funny stories from school and jokes, and stared at her whenever he had the chance.

Mikan felt the flattering in her chest the whole evening and she thought to herself if the time has come. She thought about it for a very long time. It's been years now, and she healed. She tried to come up with pros and cons for this matter, but in the end her heart knew what it wanted. She knew he was a different person from how he used to be – he proved that many times, and she knew she should finally let him know – he had been waiting, frightened to do something about it long enough.

But it seemed he thought the same.

As they watched their friends fooling around and the two of them waited for the group at the side, next to an old stone railing, Natsume finally spoke up.

''Hey… May I… May I talk to you for a moment?'' he asked nervously, his voice a little shaky. Mikan's heart went wild and she had a feeling she knew what this was about. She blinked, thinking of something to postpone the act. ''Sure… Let me just get Hotaru and tell her that we'll go to the benches.''

She gave him that heart-warming smile and turned away to walk forward, but then she felt his hand pull at hers and she turned back at him in confusion.

''Natsume?''

He looked at her with so much desperation and desire that she could feel it. He felt frustrated and he simply could not hold it in anymore.

''Mikan…'' he started, his voice weak and pleading. ''Please… Please let me tell you. I can't- I just want you to know.''

''No.'' Was her immediate reply, and Natsume felt his world crumble.

''Let me tell you Natsume.'' She suddenly smiled gently, and pulled both of his hands to her lips and kissed them. Natsume stared at her in awe and breathed faster, his heart beating faster than before.

''I've been very mean, Natsume. I admit it. Since we started to get along, I held you at arm's length and I'm aware how much emotional pain I caused you. Because I know, Natsume, I know…'' she whispered softly and kissed his hands one more time.

''I started to like you a long time ago; you were my first crush in high school, and you were the first one to break my heart. But you healed it again, Natsume. I like you. And it's quickly turning into love. And I think I'd like you to show me more about it.''

Natsume could not hold himself back anymore. He leaned down slowly, letting her know what he was about to do and Mikan closed her eyes, meeting him halfway. They kissed. They finally kissed and Natsume felt so happy he thought he could die. He was aware that Mikan never kissed anyone before, but she let him show her how it is done. He hugged her around her hips with one arm and with the other, he held her nape, pressing her closer. He felt her quick heartbeat and her hot skin under his fingers, and felt so very happy that his chest ached.

When they pulled apart, Mikan looked at him with those doe eyes and he buried his face into her shoulder, mumbling how much he loved her. Mikan felt him cry against her skin, she felt hot tears run down her own cheeks too, and they both cried in each other's arms.

''Mikan, Mikan, Mikan…'' he chatted, kissing that spot on her slightly exposed shoulder and then kissed her on the lips again. Then he hugged her again and they stayed that way, intertwined in each other's arms for a very long time.

''I'm sorry, Natsume, to have made you wait so long.''

''No, no, no… It was deserved. I did such awful things to you and others… I never even imagined you'd-''

''I'm in love with you, Natsume.'' Mikan interrupted him, pulling away to look him in the eyes. She was so beautiful, Natsume thought, his heart almost bursting.

''I'm in love with you.'' He whispered back to her and smiled. He laughed out, something she had never seen, and picked her up to whirl her around. Mikan laughed and shrieked, ignoring all the curious and giggling stares the two of them received.

After a very long time, they decided to find their friends and once they did, everyone was already smiling at them knowingly. Mikan was blushing like mad, while Natsume grinned like a love-struck fool. The rest of the night they spend in each other's arms, either walking around, or sitting on the grass among other couples and watching the fireworks. Natsume kissed her whenever he got the chance and slowly Mikan got used to such caress and enjoyed it all. She felt his warmth around her and she felt his lips kissing her head, his fingers playing with her hair, and she felt so happy she could die.

They did not have sex right away. Mikan was a complete beginner at dating and anything related to it. He waited eight long months before she suggested a weekend trip to the hot springs and shared with him the most beautiful night of his life. And he was glad they waited so long. He was glad, because a few years later she gave him a beautiful daughter and later on another one. They did not marry each other – they felt comfortable the way they were, but they did spend the rest of their lives together.


	7. A Thank You and Explanations

_**A Thank You and Explanations**_

* * *

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who read the short story. Many of you wrote long comments, analysing the story – truthfully, this is what made me write the story that fast; it also caused two more chapters that were not meant to be in there at the beginning.

I wrote the full story back in January, after I got angry at a few ffs that described bullying and abusing as something normal and accepting. I was really furious and in my anger I wrote this story. I forgot about it until last week when I was browsing through my unfinished stories and decided to start correcting grammar mistakes and maybe rewrite a part. I did not rewrite anything, but I did write another two chapters in between to make the pace of the story better.

At the very beginning – I'm mean the time in January when the story was still in progress, I did not want the two main characters to get together. Quite honestly, I was even angrier than Mikan. But while the two characters were growing up, they changed, and I guessed they could somehow become friends or something. The catch was that Natsume has already been in love with the girl for years, and then I caved and let them come together.

I wrote that the two of them did not marry – that is because true love does not need a signed paper to prove itself. In my opinion (quite honestly) I do not really think much of marriages. They are overrated if you ask me. Many think marriage is the 'thing' to do to start a new life with your love. I think that marriage should be the crown of two people's love – like, they've been together for five, ten or more years, have children, and still love and respect each other – that is when marriage should happen – as the final gift of true love. All right… I'm talking shit most probably but yeah :D

I hope I did not disappoint too many people with the ending, but that is how I imagined it. I could have described more of their college years and go into detail of their still developing relationship, but that would make the story complicated – and I wanted it easy.

So… This is it. Thank you for reading.

EllikaNellika


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